Life is one of those things...

The weather is here-
wish you were beautiful.

DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO

Lottery: A tax on people
who can't do math

Friends help you move. Real
friends help you move bodies

It's lonely at the top, but you
eat better

If at first you do succeed, try
not to look astonished

ALL GENERALIZATIONS
ARE FALSE

TIME IS THE BEST TEACHER;
UNFORTUNATELY, IT KILLS ALL
ITS STUDENTS

I majored in liberal arts.
Would you like fries with that?

If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap, and easy

Stress is when you wake up
screaming and you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet

Your proctologist called,
he found your head

If you're psychic,
think "honk"

Vote Jack Kevorkian for
White House physician

A hundred thousand sperm...
and you were the fastest?

Please do not honk-
driver sleeping

Back off! I'm not that kind of car

A woman's place is in the House - and the Senate

PROUD MEMBER OF PETA:
PEOPLE EATING TASTY ANIMALS

Heart Attacks: God's revenge
for eating his animal friends

Okay, who put a "stop payment"
on my reality check?

The IRS: We've got what it
takes to take what you've got!

GROW YOUR OWN DOPE-
PLANT A MAN

Some people just don't know
how to drive. I call these
people "everybody but me."

CHAOS. PANIC. DISORDER.
MY WORK HERE IS DONE.