Monday, April 17, 2006
Dinosaurs live in my backyard
Here it is: my dinosaurs are very quite a lot old argument.
While researching this topic, I found it quite difficult to grab on to a good starting point. So I will start at the beginning…
Genesis 1.1 In the beginning….. blah blah blah…
By the way, when reading all this, remember that Creationists believe that the Earth is only 6000 years old. So sometime in Genesis all the land animals were created. (Pick up a copy of the bible to get the exact wording. They are free if you steal them from hotel rooms!) This had to include the dinosaurs. Now all the animals of the world are vegetarian, Adam and Eve are frolicking around naked in the Garden of Eden, dinosaurs of all kinds are lounging by the pool drinking sweet beverages with those little umbrellas in them… Right…
So some possessed snake slithers over to Eve and says, “Go get that apple over there and make Adam eat it. He’s horny, so he’ll eat anything.”
Adam eats the apple and everyone (animals included) are cast out of the Garden of Eden. As far as I can see it, Adam and Eve the start having sex. A lot of it. Check this out :
ADAM + EVE = Cain+Abel+Seth +Wifes+Wives of the children of their children… And so on. No wonder Adam had to live 930 or something years… That’s a lot of kids he had to father. The family tree for all this genealogy must be like a plate of spaghetti!
Anyways, all this goes on for like 1600 years. Then God says, “Fuck this! I’m starting fresh!” So he tells Noah to build a bloody big boat. He was told to make it 300 cubits by 50 cubits by 30 cubits. A cubit is anywhere from 17 to 22 inches. So that would make the Ark about 450 feet (137 m) in length. The Ark had a gross volume of about 1.5 million cubic feet (40,000 m³), a displacement a little less than half that of the Titanic at about 22,000 tons, and total floor space of around 100,000 square feet (9,300 m²).
Once the Ark was built, Noah had to load it with 2 of every kind of land animal, fresh water for the humans and animals, and food for all. That is a lot of stuff. I wonder if all those animals and food and such would have fit in the Ark. Somehow I doubt it. Now the 8 humans had to deal with the special dietary needs of some of all the animals. I don’t know how… I wasn’t there. Also, Noah had to account for special diets, sickness, lighting, ventilation, temperature control, hibernation, the survival and germination of seeds, and so on. Somewhere in all this, dinosaurs had to have been included. Well those that survived the hunting and 1600 years of eating each other.
The dinosaurs that didn’t survive were buried under a deluge of mud and sand during the flood. The continents moved. The oceans deepened. After 190 days the flood waters had receded. Noah unloads the boat. So all the animals and people go off and do their thing. I wish I had been there. All the animals chasing each other, eating running… ohhhhhh the carnage! Think about it for a second. How did the humans survive the carnage? Dinosaurs, lions, wolves, warthogs, killer insects, snakes, cougars, rhinoceroses, hippos; all these are not happy creatures to get along with. UNLESS God took away their free will. That’s a whole can of worms I don’t want to open!
Now Noah and the fam get humping some more. Yeay inbreeding!!! Time goes on…
That is the history that creationists want us to believe. Oh sure there is a lot that I left out. But this isn’t meant to be a concise guide to why Creationists are misguided.
Check back soon for Part 2!
While researching this topic, I found it quite difficult to grab on to a good starting point. So I will start at the beginning…
Genesis 1.1 In the beginning….. blah blah blah…
By the way, when reading all this, remember that Creationists believe that the Earth is only 6000 years old. So sometime in Genesis all the land animals were created. (Pick up a copy of the bible to get the exact wording. They are free if you steal them from hotel rooms!) This had to include the dinosaurs. Now all the animals of the world are vegetarian, Adam and Eve are frolicking around naked in the Garden of Eden, dinosaurs of all kinds are lounging by the pool drinking sweet beverages with those little umbrellas in them… Right…
So some possessed snake slithers over to Eve and says, “Go get that apple over there and make Adam eat it. He’s horny, so he’ll eat anything.”
Adam eats the apple and everyone (animals included) are cast out of the Garden of Eden. As far as I can see it, Adam and Eve the start having sex. A lot of it. Check this out :
ADAM + EVE = Cain+Abel+Seth +Wifes+Wives of the children of their children… And so on. No wonder Adam had to live 930 or something years… That’s a lot of kids he had to father. The family tree for all this genealogy must be like a plate of spaghetti!
Anyways, all this goes on for like 1600 years. Then God says, “Fuck this! I’m starting fresh!” So he tells Noah to build a bloody big boat. He was told to make it 300 cubits by 50 cubits by 30 cubits. A cubit is anywhere from 17 to 22 inches. So that would make the Ark about 450 feet (137 m) in length. The Ark had a gross volume of about 1.5 million cubic feet (40,000 m³), a displacement a little less than half that of the Titanic at about 22,000 tons, and total floor space of around 100,000 square feet (9,300 m²).
Once the Ark was built, Noah had to load it with 2 of every kind of land animal, fresh water for the humans and animals, and food for all. That is a lot of stuff. I wonder if all those animals and food and such would have fit in the Ark. Somehow I doubt it. Now the 8 humans had to deal with the special dietary needs of some of all the animals. I don’t know how… I wasn’t there. Also, Noah had to account for special diets, sickness, lighting, ventilation, temperature control, hibernation, the survival and germination of seeds, and so on. Somewhere in all this, dinosaurs had to have been included. Well those that survived the hunting and 1600 years of eating each other.
The dinosaurs that didn’t survive were buried under a deluge of mud and sand during the flood. The continents moved. The oceans deepened. After 190 days the flood waters had receded. Noah unloads the boat. So all the animals and people go off and do their thing. I wish I had been there. All the animals chasing each other, eating running… ohhhhhh the carnage! Think about it for a second. How did the humans survive the carnage? Dinosaurs, lions, wolves, warthogs, killer insects, snakes, cougars, rhinoceroses, hippos; all these are not happy creatures to get along with. UNLESS God took away their free will. That’s a whole can of worms I don’t want to open!
Now Noah and the fam get humping some more. Yeay inbreeding!!! Time goes on…
That is the history that creationists want us to believe. Oh sure there is a lot that I left out. But this isn’t meant to be a concise guide to why Creationists are misguided.
Check back soon for Part 2!
# posted by Duddadu @ 10:50 PM 
